Assertiveness is the sweet spot between being a doormat and being overly aggressive. It is the place from which you ask for what you need, and know that you will receive it.
The 3 Steps To Being Assertive
Directly ask for what you need – You need to know what it is that you need, and then you need to state it in the most straightforward manner possible. Being able to do this comes from the belief that you are entitled to what you are asking for. Many people have a difficult time doing this even in cases where it’s perfectly clear that they have a right to this thing.
You don’t have to get angry or make a show of outrage when you ask for this thing. A concise, direct statement will do the trick. Read more...
A lot of people want to know what their life purpose is. A lot of people want to achieve something great. And, a lot of people want to find out what it is they truly love to do.
So, they go looking for that thing.
But, they have it backward. They should look at the things they already do. And more specifically, they should identify the thing they can’t not do.
You probably do it everyday. But you probably don’t recognize it. Because you think that everyone else does this thing too. Or, you think that you’re not really doing anything.
But that’s only because this thing is so natural to you it doesn’t seem like you’re doing anything. But you are. Read more...
No matter how big your problems are, they can always get worse. And, unfortunately, things do often get worse before they get better. In order to prevent this, you should remember one rule.
Don’t Freak Out
That’s right. Freaking out will only serve to make your problems seem bigger and more unsolvable. Where you once had a medium-size problem, freaking out will automatically make that a large problem. With the proper perspective, problems should only shrink in size, never get bigger.
So, how do you not freak out?
Notice Your Feelings
This is a simple thing you can do to keep yourself from freaking out. Observe your emotions. You can name them if you’d like, but mostly you should just experience the way that they feel. If you start thinking about them too much, your mind will start spinning all kinds of stories and that can lead to freaking out. Just feel. Read more...
When you feel stuck or things aren’t going the way you want them to, it’s easy to get discouraged, frustrated, or even a little panicked. This is totally normal, but unfortunately, not very helpful to your situation.
The following three qualities, though seemingly simple, will help you through those times, and allow you not just to get by, but to thrive, during times of adversity.
Curiosity
When you are faced with a problem, the best thing you can do is to be curious about it. How did I get here? What do I feel right now? What are possible solutions? Is there anything I can learn? Read more...
photo credit: laszlo-photo
Time is the one thing that you never have enough of, right? Wrong. There is plenty of time.
Use time, don’t let it use you.
Do The Thing You Feel “Pulled” To Do
Don’t let your calendar or to-do list rule your life. By all means, have both of those things, but let them be guidelines for how you spend your time, rather than rigid rules.
Here’s what you should do (note: requires a bit of courage) – take a look at your calendar and then make your to-do list. Then put both of those things aside (no peaking). Read more...
photo credit: ???? Th?t (slowly back…)
Note: The questions in this post are also contained in the post Self Reflection Questions, which is a compilation of all the self reflection questions mentioned on this blog.
Some people are looking for their Life Purpose. Some people are looking for that thing they love to do. And some people are just looking to know a little more about themselves.
Whatever you are looking for, these questions will bring you a little closer.
What do I want to create?
Create is the key word here. The question isn’t, “what do I want to get paid to do?” or “what do I want to be successful in?” it’s, “what do I want to bring into the world that wasn’t here before?” Read more...
photo credit: RLHyde
Several years ago, in the Spring of 2007, I quit a job that I hated. And I did so before I had another job lined up.
What made me think about this was a post on my friend Christine’s blog entitled, Quitting your job without a new job lined up, and it made me think of my own story
At some point or another in your career, you may have the desire to quit your job, but think that you shouldn’t because you don’t have another job to go to. It’s certainly possible to do, and may, in fact, be the best move you can make, even if it feels like you are jumping off of a cliff. Read more...
photo credit: Zach Dischner
We often think, at any given point in our lives, that we are going somewhere. That there is some place we have to get to.
Maybe we want to reach a milestone in our careers or personal relationships. Or maybe we reach a certain age and feel that certain things need to be accomplished by then. Maybe we have a dream that we would like to see realized, something we’ve wanted for a long time. Something we are sure will make our lives better.
And, maybe, you actually reach that milestone or achievement, or you bring your dream to life. We feel like we’ve “made it.”
But, then, something funny happens. Something we didn’t expect. Read more...
photo credit: VinothChandar
The amount of choice we have is overwhelming.
When it’s time to make a decision about which step to take next, we are often paralyzed with indecision. Not wanting to make the wrong choice, but not knowing which one is right, we stand at the fork in the road and don’t choose either direction.
There is an incredibly simple way to pick a direction and start walking.
Pick the easiest next step you can think of.
That’s right. The easiest. Not the hardest or the most sophisticated-seeming, but the easiest choice you can make that will take you forward. Read more...
photo credit: Pilottage
There are two ways to make decisions. One is with your eyes. The other is with your gut.
Gut feelings are stronger, quicker, and lead to better results than anything your eyes could ever tell you.
A Sensation In Your Body
A gut feeling is appropriately named because the sensation feels like it is actually coming from your gut. It isn’t a bodily sensation in the way that hunger or pain are bodily sensations. Gut feelings are not physical in origin. But the sensation you do feel seems to originate in your gut.
Also, a gut feeling might actually come from another place in your body (your heart, for instance), but the point is that this is a feeling that arises from your body, but is not of your body. Read more...
